Bending Gender Norms

The Worst Princess by Anna Kemp

Plot Summary: Once upon a time, in a tower near you, Lived a sad princess; the Princess Sue. "Some day," she sighed, "my prince will come, But I wish he'd move his royal bum." But when Princess Sue's prince finally does arrive, he's not quite what she had in mind. Find out how the feisty princess escapes the clutches of her twit of a prince in this funny twist on the traditional princess tale.
Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAGOQl-Jhqc
This is a super funny and charming story of a princess who wishes to get rescued from her tower only to find that her prince has put her in a new sort of confinement. Instead of a savior, the prince, an enforcer of gender norms, is cast as a pompous idiot. Princess Sue happily becomes “the worst princess” and escapes her prince with the help of a new dragon friend. Together, they go on lots of mischievous adventures. This book has a fun twist on happily ever after.

Morris Micklewhite and the Tangerine Dress

Plot Summary: Morris is a little boy who loves using his imagination. But most of all, Morris loves wearing the tangerine dress in his classroom’s dress-up center. The children in Morris’s class don’t understand. Dresses, they say, are for girls. And Morris certainly isn’t welcome in the spaceship some of his classmates are building. Astronauts, they say, don’t wear dresses. One day when Morris feels all alone and sick from their taunts, his mother lets him stay home from school. Morris dreams of a fantastic space adventure with his cat, Moo. Inspired by his dream, Morris paints the incredible scene he saw and brings it with him to school. He builds his own spaceship, hangs his painting on the front of it and takes two of his classmates on an outer space adventure. With warm, dreamy illustrations, Isabelle Malenfant perfectly captures Morris’s vulnerability and the vibrancy of his imagination.
Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjj5yENvUj4
This is a very cute story about a little boy who loves the tangerine dress-up dress at school so much he doesn’t want to take it off, even though everyone else is pretty mean to him about it. He wins everyone over in the end, saying “this boy wears dresses!”

Mary Wears What She Wants by Keith Negley

Plot Summary: a charming picture book inspired by the true story of Mary Edwards Walker, a trailblazing 19th-century doctor who was arrested many times for wearing pants. Once upon a time (but not that long ago), girls only wore dresses. And only boys wore pants. Until one day, a young girl named Mary had an idea: She would wear whatever she wanted. And she wanted to wear pants! This bold, original picture book encourages readers to think for themselves while gently challenging gender and societal norms.
Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvsW4Fv0tEk
This is a great book to pair with one of the boy-wears-dresses books because it points out that although we’ve normalized girls wearing pants now, it used to be just as taboo as boys wearing dresses is now. Hopefully, kids reading this book will side with Mary, that you should be able to wear whatever you want.

Julián Loves Mermaids by Jessica Love

Plot Summary: In an exuberant picture book, a glimpse of costumed mermaids leaves one boy flooded with wonder and ready to dazzle the world. While riding the subway home from the pool with his abuela one day, Julián notices three women spectacularly dressed up. Their hair billows in brilliant hues, their dresses end in fishtails, and their joy fills the train car. When Julián gets home, daydreaming of the magic he’s seen, all he can think about is dressing up just like the ladies in his own fabulous mermaid costume: a butter-yellow curtain for his tail, the fronds of a potted fern for his headdress. But what will Abuela think about the mess he makes — and even more importantly, what will she think about how Julián sees himself? Mesmerizing and full of heart, Jessica Love’s author-illustrator debut is a jubilant picture of self-love and a radiant celebration of individuality.
Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFdmkUsQ9ZU
This is a really sweet story about a boy who loves mermaids and his abuela who supports him by taking him to the Coney Island Mermaid Parade. The book challenges gender essentialism in widening the appropriate actions that a boy can perform and creates a fluidity in the performance of gendered actions. The immediate acceptance by his grandmother may not reflect the gender queer experience, but a very cute book to pair with some of the ones that focus on teasing or rejection.

Playing Wicked by Alex R. Kahler

Plot Summary: Dante loves playing make believe. When he's with his friends, he's the wizened wizard or regal ruler. But when he's by himself, Dante would rather be the wicked queen. Then, one day, his dress and makeup are just so perfect that he braves the outdoors, delighting in his playful evilness. Will Dante find someone to play the hero to his villain?
Youtube link: N/A
This book came out April 2020 and looks like a cute, crossdressing story about an imaginative boy who pretends to be the wicked sorceress queen from the fairytales. He feels so great that he goes out to see if anyone will play with him.

The Princess Knight by Cornelia Funke

Plot Summary: Violet is a young princess who wishes she could show the world that she is just as brave and strong as her brothers. But her strict father insists that she get married, and her brothers only mock her when she wants to be included in their fun. So Violet decides to use her intelligence and bravery to show everyone--once and for all--what she's made of. Disguising herself as a boy, Violet takes part in a knights' jousting tournament. When she wins the contest, she reveals her true identity--and wins the prize of freedom!
Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gafCbfnRbCY
This is a very cute story about a girl who breaks gender norms to fight and ride and eventually beat all the other knights to win her own hand in marriage. Gender bending fantasy stories are very fun, but the lady-knight-avoids-marriage plot has been done many times.

Dazzling Travis by Hannah Carmona Dias

Plot Summary: Travis sets no limits to what he enjoys doing. Shopping and football, ballet and dress-up make Travis a one of a kind boy! But when some of the kids on the playground begin to pick on him, Travis truly dazzles. This empowering story encourages both boys and girls to challenge the social norm, revealing their true selves.
Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3Q_3tHdiRE
This book provides a cute story about a boy who likes everything and conforms to no “stupid dress up rules.” This is a good book to talk about how likes and dislikes don’t have to be based on gender. Travis’ classmates do tease and reject him, but he repeats the message that you should do ‘you’ no matter what people say. The book also provides a reading guide and a page of real life “dazzling” or gender-bending people.

Harrison Dwight, Ballerina and Knight by Rachael MacFarlane

Plot Summary: A charming, rhyming picture book with an empowering message that challenges stereotypes from writer Rachael MacFarlane and illustrator Spencer Laudiero. I heard someone once say / That boys shouldn't cry. / But boys feel things too, / It’s okay, and here’s why! Equal parts humor and heart, Harrison Dwight, Ballerina and Knight follows a young boy as he cycles through various feelings he experiences in everyday life. Harrison feels happiness, sadness, pride, fear, joy, anger, and courage―all while playing and imagining without limitation! With Harrison Dwight, boys everywhere will feel empowered to play in whatever way they choose and learn that it’s always okay to express what you’re feeling inside!
Youtube link: N/A
This book shows a protagonist that defies gender norms by playing with “boy things” and “girl things” indiscriminately. Some reviewers find the message comes in a little heavy handed and at the expense of the plot, however.

Eleanor Wyatt, Princess and Pirate by Rachael MacFarlane

Plot Summary: A young girl discovers that playtime is as boundless as imagination in this empowering, rhyming picture book. I can be anything that I want to be, / I'm a princess, a pirate, and I'm also just me! Her name is Eleanor Wyatt, and some days she's a princess, some days she's a pirate. Eleanor's parents have taught her she can be anything she wants to be, from a ninja to a cowgirl to a fairy with wings. She can even star in her own book! Join Eleanor and her friends as they romp through tea parties and sword fights and to discover the best treasure of all―being yourself!
Youtube link: N/A
This is a cute story about playing however you want and with whatever you want. It has a female protagonist and a whole cast of multiracial, gendered, and abled friends (like a knight in a wheelchair and some boys in tutus and girls in cop outfits).

The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch

Plot Summary: When the fiercest dragon in the whole world smashes Princess Elizabeth’s castle, burns all her clothes, and captures her fiancé, Prince Ronald, Elizabeth takes matters into her own hands. With her wits alone and nothing but a paper bag to wear, the princess challenges the dragon to show his strength in the hopes of saving the prince. But is it worth all that trouble? Readers the world-over have fallen in love with this classic story of girl power.
Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMFIyNuKhSc
This story takes the traditional knight-save-princess-from-dragon fairytale and flips the gender roles. However, Elizabeth still uses the feminine-coded wits rather than masculine-coded strength to defeat the dragon. That said, this is still a fun gender-bending fairytale and kids will find it hilarious that Elizabeth goes through all that trouble to defeat a dragon and then skips happily off into the sunset by herself after the prince turns out to be a jerk.

Sparkle Boy by Lesléa Newman

Plot Summary: Casey loves to play with his blocks, puzzles, and dump truck, but he also loves things that sparkle, shimmer, and glitter. When his older sister, Jessie, shows off her new shimmery skirt, Casey wants to wear a shimmery skirt too. When Jessie comes home from a party with glittery nails, Casey wants glittery nails too. And when Abuelita visits wearing an armful of sparkly bracelets, Casey gets one to wear, just like Jessie. The adults in Casey's life embrace his interests, but Jessie isn't so sure. Boys aren't supposed to wear sparkly, shimmery, glittery things. Then, when older boys at the library tease Casey for wearing "girl" things, Jessie realizes that Casey has the right to be himself and wear whatever he wants. Why can't both she and Casey love all things shimmery, glittery, and sparkly? Here is a sweet, heartwarming story about acceptance, respect, and the freedom to be yourself in a world where any gender expression should be celebrated. Sparkly things are for everyone to enjoy!
Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZm1r8DvCbA
In this story, Casey is a young boy (younger than most characters, reads about 3 or 4) who wants all the things his sister wants--sparkly skirts, bracelets, and nailpolish--much to her dismay. Jessie insists that boys can’t wear things like that until the other kids start making fun of Casey too and she has to defend Casey. This is a story with a young, gender bending main character who plays with anything he wants: sparkles AND dump trucks.

Angus All Aglow By Heather Smith

Plot Summary: Angus loves sparkly things, so much so that he can hear them. To Angus, shiny objects not only look beautiful; they also crackle, buzz and go whiz-bang-POP! His unique ability is lost, however, when Angus wears his grandma's beaded necklace to school, and his classmates tease him for his atypical choice. Saddened by their laughter, Angus stops hearing the sparkle.
Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ms06YAiCZw
This book has a lot of colorful text, fun sound-effects, and sparkly vocab words. The story centers on how a little boy’s sparkle is put out by mean words from his classmates, and then rekindled with the support of a friend.

Princess Pirates by D.K. Ackerman

Plot Summary: Three princess sisters go on a pirate adventure. They imagine all the obstacles in their own home as clever illustrations show and finally get to their pirate treasure (cookies!).
Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UPbz5mQ8l4
This is a really cute story that does a good job of bending stereotypes and showing creativity and imagination. The story also seems highly relatable as most kids have pretended their house was somewhere different. It is only available as a kindle book, however.

Jacob’s New Dress by Sarah and Ian Hoffman

Plot Summary: Jacob loves playing dress-up, when he can be anything he wants to be. Some kids at school say he can't wear "girl" clothes, but Jacob wants to wear a dress to school. Can he convince his parents to let him wear what he wants? This heartwarming story speaks to the unique challenges faced by boys who don't identify with traditional gender roles.
Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3_5W2zDg6k
Jacob just really likes dresses even though his classmate Christopher is teasing him and telling him he can’t. Although it takes his parents a likely-realistic moment to wrap their heads around sewing a dress for him, Jacob is beyond excited about the purple dress. It's really a cross dressing story, not a trans story as Jacob feels like a boy, he just doesn’t understand why dresses are “girl clothes.” Kids get caught up in “boy things” and “girl things” sometimes and this is a good book to make them think why not a boy in a dress.

Uni the Curious Little Seahorse by B. Zielinska

Plot Summary: PART OF NATURE, NOT APART. A rhyming tale of a shy little seahorse embarking on a journey of self-discovery. Who will he meet? Will he find what he is looking for? Join Uni on his journey and discover the beauty of diversity through nature. "Sexuality, appearance and size do not matter, What's inside is the heart of the matter. What makes a rainbow beautiful, Is that it has every hue; So aren't you glad Uni that you are you?"
Youtube link: N/A
Uni, a seahorse, explores the diversity of all of the ocean life who tell him to just be himself. Released February 2020.

The Sissy Duckling by Harvey Fierstein

Plot Summary: Elmer is not like the other boy ducklings. While they like to build forts, he loves to bake cakes. While they like to play baseball, he wants to put on the halftime show. Elmer is a great big sissy. But when his father is wounded by a hunter's shot, Elmer proves that the biggest sissy can also be the greatest hero.
Youtube read aloud: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ic5YMNbow1E
While the term “sissy” might be a little outdated, the story of a little duck who’s bullied and misunderstood can still, unfortunately, be relatable to kids. Elmer likes to break gender norms and is only accepted by his flock--and even his dad--after he heroically saves his dad. Indeed, by the end he turns the insult into a compliment and unapologetically embraces his queerness. The book is on the longer side and perhaps gives the message that only by doing incredible things can one be accepted for being different, but it got me right in the emotions with the duckling’s struggle to be accepted.

William’s Doll by Charlotte Zolotow

Plot Summary: "An excellent book about a boy named William who wants the forbidden—a doll. The long-awaited realistic handling of this theme makes it a landmark book."—School Library Journal. More than anything, William wants a doll. “Don’t be a creep,” says his brother. “Sissy, sissy,” chants the boy next door. Then one day someone really understands William’s wish, and make it easy for others to understand, too. William gets a doll, so he can learn to be a loving parent someday. Written by beloved author Charlotte Zolotow and illustrated by Newbery Medal-winning author and Caldecott Honor Book illustrator William Pène du Bois, William’s Doll was published in 1972 and was one of the first picture books to deal with gender stereotypes.
Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyxEd21OIiY
As one of the first books to deal with gender roles, this one does a good job of showing that it’s ok for a boy to want to play family, (even though everyone keeps reminding him that that’s a girly thing to do). This story was also adapted for a short cartoon (narrated by Alan Alda) in the Marlo Thomas project, Free to Be You and Me. This story does a good job of never casting William’s masculinity into question, but still questioning gender essentialism.

The Boy Who Cried Fabulous by Lesléa Newman

Plot Summary: The only thing Roger likes better than exploring the world around him is describing it. And Roger describes most things as fabulous! But his parents have a different view. They want Roger to see things the way they do, so they ban "fabulous" from his vocabulary. Fabulously illustrated by Peter Ferguson, this cheerful tale will have children rejoicing along with Roger at all the fabulous--no, marvelous! no, dazzling!--things that await him when he steps outside.
Youtube link to the book trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hB0ycNKzMpU
Other than the fact that fabulous is a word we’ve coded to indicate a gay man, there’s nothing particularly queer about this book. Also, his parents are objecting to the way Roger gets distracted and is therefore late to school, not really the word fabulous in and of itself. Cute story by the author of Heather Has Two Mommies, and can be a good opportunity to talk about assuming things based on the way someone speaks.

Princess Kevin by Michael Escoffier

Plot Summary: This year, Kevin is going to the school costume show as a princess. His costume is perfect but he knows that the best costumes are authentic. So he is outraged that none of the knights will partner with him and complete the look. Things don't go quite as smoothly as he planned. Next year, there is only one thing for it. He will just have to be something even more fabulous. This is a heartwarming and funny story about imagination, diversity and persevering at expressing your fabulous self.
Youtube link: N/A
This story is about a boy in a costume as a princess finding it harder than he thought to walk in high heels with long skirts. The author places this firmly in the gender-bending category (as opposed to the trans category) by writing that “when you wear a costume, the whole point is that you become someone different” which some reviewers worried discounted any personal, gender exploration.

The Only Boy in Ballet Class by Denise Gruska

Plot Summary: Tucker loves ballet-even though some people don't understand his passion for dancing. Taunted by the boys on the football field, tortured by dorky twin sisters, and teased by his Uncle Frank, Tucker doesn't know how to help people see how ballet makes him feel . . . until one day, when an unexpected invitation to join the football game comes, and Tucker Dohr gets the chance to prove just what ballet dancing can do!
Youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYadlqFNy2Y
This book is trying to say that anyone can do anything, but mostly ends up saying that boys can’t dance ballet unless it's useful to manly things like football. But it's true that boys that do dance are teased for it and this book definitely makes you empathize with Tucker, who just wants to do what he likes.

Trans and Gender Queer Stories

Nonfiction / Non-narrative Books

101 LGBTQ Picture Books